Day 27 – My days as a slave
Once upon a time… isn’t this how all good stories begin?
Once upon a time, I was a slave. I was a slave to my thoughts. I was a slave to my feelings. I was a slave to my emotions. And as a result of this I didn’t have any freedom with anything.
I was a slave to doubt and to worry. I doubted that I was any good at anything even when deep down I knew that I was good at stuff. I didn’t trust me. Somewhere along the way I lost the ability to trust me and my awareness. and my knowing. I shackled myself to a no-space, no-choice, finite way of living and being, all the time knowing that if I could get free I would be happy.
For a very long time I thought that happiness was an outside job that it was other people who dished this out in regular doses. That if I sought help from friends and colleagues who appeared to have it all together then so could I. That if I faked it for long enough I would eventually make it.
I have read numerous books, and still do, seeking that one thing that was going to switch on the happiness, because it was an outside job, I couldn’t do this. Someone else would tell me what to do.
When I read ‘The Molecules of Emotion’ by Candace Pert and she was saying that we are all hard wired for bliss because she had discovered that we all have things called neurotransmitters that prove this, I wanted to believe this and at the same time wondered what had happened to mine. What had happened to my happiness endorphins? Where were they? Have you got them?
And one of the things that I regularly said, “Life’s not fair.” Well that’s just a load of old Judgement x a god zillion, right there, and my major shackle.
I recognise now how as well as judgement I was a slave to the following:
• to nervousness
• to a lack of being able to fully relax
• if there was nothing to worry about then I would worry about having nothing to worry about
• not being present, always worrying about the future
• constantly looking to make sense of the world and only being more and more dissatisfied in the process.
Do you get the picture of how I was limiting me? I wonder what you are making yourself a slave to right now? Social media? Worrying about money? Time?
And then the tools of Access came along. In Access there is no being a slave to anything or anyone and especially not to our own thoughts, feelings and emotions.
Access won’t set you free. using the tools of Access regularly, now that might be a choice worth making and then setting yourself free.
So, we have Access Bars®, that weird and wonderful thing, where you have your head touched and as if by magic, you feel better.
We ask questions, lots of them and then there is CHOICE.
CHOICE. Choice creates. Choice creates awareness.
None of this stops our thoughts, feelings and emotions. You havn’t been anaesthetised. You still get to have your points of view. You’ll still have days where your body has aches and pains., where people get under your skin. And then you choose a tool to use. A tool to set you free. A tool to unshackle you from your past values and beliefs.
Choosing to use these tools may begin the un-slaving of you. You have to choose this.
These tools have given me the freedom I was seeking. Freedom for me has that sense of space without fear. A sense of space with so much ease and joy and happiness for me being little ole weirdo, I truly be. A sense of completeness that includes my imperfections and lets go of judgement of me. When judgement rears up, and it does, I have tools and I have a wonderful network of people that I can connect with.
This freedom, this un-slaving of me using these tools allows me to be more than my problems and other peoples problems. Using these tools breaks the invisible chains of the lies, the lines and the limitations that I have fed myself.
So, I wonder where are you choosing to be a slave? One of THE biggest lies that we tell ourselves is that we can’t be happy – because [……………………………………………….].
Today I leave you to fill in the blank of why is it that you can’t be happy or to come at this from the opposite direction – why do you consider that being disgruntled is the way to be in this reality?
To be continued.